Superficial my ar*e…


They say it takes all kinds to make a world, but it never ceases to amaze me how some people often happily dismiss the feelings and experiences of others… and then judge. Blanket judgement of people when you have no sense of background and context has always been something that has annoyed me – and as you may sense from the subtle title of this post – it’s riled me again.

I recently came across an article on the Huffington Post (published in July 2012) about beating the post wedding blues… a topic which is clearly dear to my heart… and to the heart of many as is becoming increasingly clear as I continue interviewing brides for my book.

The writer, Danielle Tate from mrandmrs.com wrote a decent light-hearted article for new brides. Not an article / topic for everyone of course but also, in my eyes, not a topic that can be responded to in a singular way.  Relationships and getting married are experiences that are personal to individuals and couples so what annoyed me was the reader comment “Some women act like having a wedding is the ONLY reason they want to get married. Those are the types that need this type of article. They are the ones that forget that after all the wedding stuff you are married and have to deal with that.”

And there it is. With that comment, it seems we have found the one person who can speak for the experience of all married women who feel a bit blue in the days and weeks following their wedding day.  Or not…

Lol. Posts laced with sarcasm aren’t usually my style and actually – there’s definitely some truth in the notion that in some instances the post wedding blues may be a result of focusing too closely on the day, not the marriage.

However, I would suggest being a bit more open and recognising that being wistful when something you have been planning and looking forward to comes to an end – isn’t solely for one reason. Looking forward to your wedding day and feeling a bit deflated after it definitely does not automatically equate to not looking forward to the marriage that follows… and whether in reference to something like the post wedding blues which may seem superficial to some – or any other aspect of human emotion  – it is never particularly advisable to judge all people in the same way.

Telling people how to think and what to feel – that should not be how we roll.

That is all… (for now anyway).

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